


Where's my Grimoire?

by Asta_Is_Dead



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Asta has nightmares often, Badly written but I thought it was a good idea, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mental Breakdown, Mentally scarred Asta, Other, References to Depression, So please excuse my bad writing, Suggestive Themes, Trauma, Usually referencing what happened at the church, Whump, so - please watch it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2020-11-02 11:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20738024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asta_Is_Dead/pseuds/Asta_Is_Dead
Summary: " no... no way. there's no way i could ever defeat this guy... "asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event. only, this weird figure keeps following and harassing him, and he has yet to find out who or what it is.





	1. how unfortunate

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so,,me bad at writing ?? Asta has THE DEPRESS because oH hhH angst is great  
edit: do not pay attention to any retarded grammar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im pretty bad at writing, and everyone's pretty out of character. have fun reading this scrap of garbage :P  
just so you know this page is lowercase cause i needed to edit it a lot

Today was the day any 15 year old could finally acquire their grimoire.

Yet, why was he kneeling to each and every bookcase, yet his hands were empty?

the laughter grew louder and rang through his ears. his head started to hurt, his eyes tearing up from embarrassment.

He was frustrated. Not only because he didn't receive his own grimoire, he was frustrated because of himself. They were all right. Why did he come even if he had not a single amount of magic? Why did they even let him?

...Was it to show him how much of a failure he was? His heart dropped even lower.

He already knew that his rival had gotten a four leaf, even if he couldn't capture the exact moment when the laughter had turned to 'ooh's and 'aah's after their attention turned to the prouder, taller boy.

Dropping his hands back to his side, he fell onto his knees. Was he really that much of a disappointment to his rival? That was what he thought when he heard the teenager behind him speak. "Of course," he heard him say with a sigh. "I shouldn't have expected much more."

' yet... that won't stop me... yuno. '

His own voice echoed through his head. He had enough courage to speak, even when his voice quivered heavily. How can such an inconvenience make him feel so angry, so sad, so many indescribable feelings all at once?

he was left in the middle of the crowd when his rival walked away.

he felt vulnerable. too vulnerable. and with that, he ran away, back into the demon skull.

he was useless.


	2. The Demon Skull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this story on Wattpad, but Archive is fancy so I'm putting it here too

Training, training, and even more training.  
That was all he did for three days straight, not stopping for rest. Not even when he passed out, because those moments didn't last for long.

' For me to get my grimoire, I'm gonna have to become even stronger than before. '  
Within those three days, he hadn't ate anything, and no one ever came looking for him, either.

Hitting a tree with a large branch which was the size of half of the tree, he heard it snap. He looked at the tip of it and sighed. " It's gonna keep getting smaller. I need another. "  
Before he could throw the large stick the opposite direction, he saw a glare of light on the ground. He dropped the stick.

Walking to get a closer look at what was blurring his vision, he squinted his eyes and crouched low onto the ground. It was a blue shiny rock. It was shiny, yes, but it also almost seemed to sparkle as well, shifting from teal to purple when he shifted his gaze. Picking it up, the ashen haired boy's eyes widened. It reminded him of something...

" This... Reminds me of Yuno's amulet. The one he had since we were smaller, " Asta said to himself while he held it in his hand. He clenched it.

He really felt like going back to the church now, yet, he wondered if anyone truly cared about him. Was he that annoying to them? Was he that much of a burden? He couldn't help the negative thoughts flooding his mind. After all, it was his fault. He just wasn't strong enough for everyone, and therefore, he was hated, a nuisance to them.

Everyone had magic. Everyone, every single person in the world, except for him. He's thought it over plenty of times, but he can't figure out why he's the only one without magic. Why?

' It's not time to be envious, I gotta work my ass off so I can get my grimoire! ' He thought while slapping his own face.

Completely stopping what he was doing, he got onto his stomach and spread his body out but his legs. He started doing a bazillion push-ups, then sit-ups, then pull-ups from a tree.

He hadn't even realized it had been nighttime until the quarter moon glared in his face.


	3. 2Nighttime2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.

" Asta. "

Whose voice had he heard? He asked himself this, yet he didn't turn his head to look. He only froze to rewind the noise in his head. Was it his rival?

It called him again.

" Asta! "

" Asta, everyone has been waiting for you! "

Only, it sounded like a child.

" Well, me and Yuno were... You know how it is. "

He turned around to see a kid standing before him.

" I'm trying to train, Nash, you can go back. "

" Whatever. If Yuno comes out here crying because of you, don't blame me. He's the one who wanted me to come get you. "

Yuno? What for? Surely he could care less about him. Maybe the small boy wasn't telling the full truth. Maybe Yuno wanted to flex that he got a grimoire. Yeah, that sounded about right... He settled with that thought but only felt more empty.

" If I come back. "

" What? "

" Nash... "

He looked away from the small boy and backed away slightly.  
" I've been thinking about running away. "  
" Why? "

" What else would it be? "

" Asta... It wouldn't be the same without you. You can't just randomly disappear! You know how they care for you. Especially Yun- " the kid was about to finish before he heard a small snicker come from the taller teen.

" No. None of them care about me, Nash. Not like they care about you, Yuno, Recca and the others. "

" And Yuno, you think he would care about me? No, 'not a chance.' "

He kicked a stray stone from the ground. It hit the base of a tree and bounced off.

His smile faded.

" I'm leaving in two days, alright? Don't tell anyone. "

Their agreement was unspoken.

Nash turned around and left, leaving him guilty from his own words. Why was he leaving? Partially... Partially because they didn't care. Everything he did now, he would hold himself accountable for.

Sighing before he relaxed his stance a little, his eyelids felt heavy. His whole body felt heavy.  
When was the last time he took a break?

Asta dropped the rock in he held in his hand when he felt himself become sleepy again.


	4. 3Yuno3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any plot holes, I am genuinely bad at keeping stories from falling apart

Startled awake, he found himself freezing. How had he woke up again?

The memories of the dream were barely starting to fade away. Something about a shiny stone and a white haired guy...

Thinking of getting up to start training again even with his head pounding, he put one of his hands onto the ground, and only stopped when he felt a warm hand touch his shoulder.

" Asta. Don't get up. "

Who was it this time? Nash left not too long ago didn't he -

" Na- Yuno? What are you doing out here? "

His rival's grip tightened.

" I was waiting for you all day. At least take care of yourself when I can't. " Yuno said. His voice was commanding, yet soft. " But I am. I'm trai- "

" No. Eat well, and sleep well, too. "

The shorter teen tried to get up, but his rival would not release him. " Please Yuno, let go of me. " He said as he shrugged his hand off of him.

Yuno grabbed onto both sides of his face after he got onto his knees to see him directly.

" Why will you not listen? "

Asta's head fell. He doesn't want to tell Yuno what he was going to do, but why does that feel like the only thing he should tell him?

He felt tears welling up in his eyes. Why did he feel like crying? Why?

" Y- Yuno... " His voice cracked through the feeling in his throat. No one cared about him dearly enough. If he was going to leave, he said that he needed not to be attached to the children in the church, but didn't work any further than that.  
He felt gentle arms wrap around him and jumped, only to relax in his rival's hold. Asta moved his arms around his waist to mimic his gesture.

Soon, Yuno felt wetness soak through his shirt, hearing a sniff come from the other. The fit of his shirt felt tighter.

The shorter boy clenched his eyes shut and breathed shakily. " Yuno... Do you know what's gonna happen? " He asked out of the blue. Raven-hair thought it sounded oddly calm rather than what he normally heard. " What are you planning to do? " He asked equally as quiet, if not quieter.

" I'm gonna run away. That's what I'm gonna do. "

" Why? "

" Because I don't like it here. Don't you know how they treat me at the church? They hate me. "

Yuno didn't want to hear anymore as he brought his hand up to Asta's mouth once he pulled away from the hug.

" I don't want to keep hearing you say those things. How dare you assume nobody cares about you? "

" Maybe it isn't that nobody cares about me, but it might be that I don't want anyone to care about me. "

Yuno looked at him confused. He glanced at Yuno's necklace.

" I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Yuno. I don't want anyone to care about me, but when people ignore me, it makes me sad. I always have this deep sadness in my chest, and no matter what I do, it's always there. "

Yuno's head tilted to the side slightly. All he could do was listen to the teen in front of him. ' Why did he never tell anyone? '

" I've tried so hard to not give up, but I'm bad at that. I hear voices screaming in my head, and sometimes I feel it, because deep down, I'm screaming too. " He said and brushed Yuno off of him. He stood up.

" Where are you going to go? "

" Somewhere else. "

Smartass.....

" No. Really, where? "

" I don't know. "

\---------

" I'm going to go now. It's well past midnight. The sun is gonna come up soon. "

" You've been warned, though, it's not gonna get any warmer today. "

Asta had completely forgotten about his runny nose and shivering body until Yuno reminded him. On instinct, he brought up his hand up to his nose and brushed his hand against it.

He heard footsteps accompanied by the crunching of the rocks beneath his 'rival's shoes. The farther he walked away, the quieter they got. He also saw Yuno holding something shiny in his hand, but didn't think much of it.

What was the time again?

Since Yuno told him the sun was about to come up, he guessed it was 6:00 in the morning, which meant he was ready to train again.

Getting up with wobbly legs, he caught onto a tree before he could fall. The stick from last night was still laying on the ground peacefully until he stepped on it.

The headache he got had worsened as he held his head against the hard bark of the tree. Ignoring the little critters crawling about, he turned his back against the wood and leaned. The lack of sleep and too much exercise appeared just after he stretched when pain coursed through his muscles.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment before he felt a twist in his stomach, and a growl to accompany it. The only thing he noticed he had ate in the past few days were some berries that made him feel... Weird. But he thought they tasted good and he was hungry, so did he really care?

Not a chance.

Asta pushed himself off of the tall tree and into the direction he had originally got the berries from. He forgot about the stick until he almost tripped over it. He hadn't even ate one of the berries yet.

\-------

It took him a while to find it considering he did run into a random direction, but once he found them, he eyed every single one.  
From a deep purple to an unsettling black, he found himself drooling over them. They almost looked like blackberries.  
Munberries? Sulberries? Something along the lines of that.

He liked the purple ones the best because they were the sweetest. He was about to pick one when he heard a voice.

Turning around, he couldn't quite see them due to how dark it is outside, yet, he noticed the eyes seemed to glow an eerie yellow, and so did their grimoire.


	5. 4Light4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, if you really read this, I usually update on Fridays but this is late because I never did it. It's also short, sorry :']

" Humble peasant. "  
With a squint of his eyes, the short teen backed farther away from the man bathed in golden light. " What is it? " He asked quietly and held up a hand to block the brightness.  
" The stone you carried earlier. Where is it? " The man asked as he aimed a sword made of light like his aura at him. The words took on an aggressive tone which further confused Asta. What could he be angry for?

" Tell me now or die, you filthy human. "

' WHAT?!?! ISN'T HE AN ORDINARY HUMAN JUST LIKE ME!!? '  
" W - Woah. I don't know where it is. My brother took it away from me. "  
The man's furious frown curved into a maniacal smile as he laughed at him. " That gives you a reason not to live. You are no use to me anymore. "  
Before he could initially get up, sharp light pierced his forearm. It burned through skin and he nearly fell over while shrieking in pain. As he shot up and jogged away into the deep forest, the man was on his heels.  
He brushed against bushes and trees with pokey leaves and vines. None of them affected him as he continued to run farther and farther away. His breathing was heavy and he felt panic with cold sweat.  
His running became even faster when strikes came shooting past him and one even ripped through the loose of his shirt.  
" You shouldn't be so angry at a mere commoner, a kid, Master Licht. "

" Of course, but...  
I will find the magic stone, and I will kill you, " a loud voice from behind him said. He turned around to be met with the absence of the strange man, and whoever else that seemed to be there. ' Were they watching me? ' He thought with a concerned look.  
Another thought invaded his mind when he shivered. He hadn't even thought about running so much he'd got lost. He huffed and fell onto his knees. If he just looked back and went that way, that might work, but he remembered turning several ways before he finally stopped.  
Looking many different directions, he noticed a few new berries he hadn't seen before on other bushes. He decided against eating them when he knew he wasn't in the mood to get poisoned. The teen went so far as to walk around to see if he could find his way without luck.

He let his breathing return to normal before he tried to climb a tree. It worked out at first, but even when he reached the top, he couldn't see anything he would instantly recognize back at the church, so he climbed back down.


	6. 5DarknessOfACave5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.
> 
> Things get better when he meets a certain folk, and people that will care for him dearly.

Booming thunder sounded just as he jumped. Surprised, he looked to the sky and watched fairly big dark clouds move rapidly in his direction.  
'It's gonna start raining any time now. '  
It made him feel wildly uncomfortable that he hadn't noticed them before. When had the already cold wind gotten colder?  
He wished he had experience in hunting so he could get food for the next few days.  
While looking around to find shelter, he soon found out that making one was not an option. He felt beads of rain fall and splash onto his blushed face from the cold air, and then felt the army of droplets expand in numbers. He swallowed in an attempt to cure his sore dry throat.  
At least for the next few months he has nowhere to be.  
Without thinking, he gave up finding home and decided to focus on the present.  
Finding it weird how there seemed to be no rain falling into one small cavern, he looked closer into it. The cave's insides shook slightly as he took steps forward. He made sure to dodge any sort of insect that might be flying, any webs that might be hanging or animals that might pop out and swallow him whole. He jumped when he heard a deep loud roll of thunder and shivered from the wetness and coldness of the clothes sticking to him.  
Asta made an attempt to take off his clothes and squeeze them dry, but it only moderately helped him as he pulled them back over his head and straightened them out. A sound from the left startled him when he took a step back. He decided to plop onto the ground and sigh.  
The rock beneath him was freezing just as much as he was if not colder. It wasn't smooth but yet it wasn't rough either, which he preferred both when he began to lay onto the ground and curl up into a ball. Exercising doesn't warm you up if you had no energy in the first place.  
He felt the darkness swallow him up when the sun shined directly above, where the light couldn't reach and grab ahold of the cavern's rusty craters and cracks and any other fault that disrupts the partial smoothness of the cave. The drops of rain somehow poured even harder and he was left surprised, the rain flooded so quickly out of nowhere when he could've sworn he felt sunshine on his feet. Looking up and above his body, peering at the wet weather, he groaned before his head fell back into his soaked and limp arms.  
His body hadn't dried at all from the past few hours of sitting and waiting for the weather to lighten so he could explore more, seeing how he didn't have any food, not bothering to risk getting poisoned by berries, he thought once again. In the small pocket he made himself by folding over the now damp beige tunic he has over his jacket, he had the moonberries, as he called them. He found them at night once, and the moon was reflecting a bright glow right into his eyes that made them seem blue. It was only fitting that he named them after something he found so beautiful.  
He was tripping pretty hard himself from the natural high of eating only those for a week, but he noticed the water wasn't normal looking, but, at the same time, it wasn't exactly different either. Just after it vanished completely, his eyes widened when he saw a deep dark slash through the cave and through any creepy creature that was lingering. The man behind it coughed when he breathed in the dust. " Shit, this stuff's annoying and it's cold. Hey kid, mind getting out of here so I can find something? "  
Asta sat up. " O-Of course. What are you looking for? "

" A magic stone. "

He stood up on his feet and began to walk towards the man. " A man with white hair and a golden grimiore just chased me into here after being bailed out by another man... They were looking for the same thing. "  
" Oh man, I hate that guy. They tried to kill you I'm guessing? " The man said as he took a drag from the cigarette he was holding.  
His face scrunched up when he smelt the smoke. " Yeah, actually... Oh, u-um, I think I might know where the stone is... "  
" Great. Mind taking me there? " He questioned. Asta shook his head, " N-Not at all...! Follow me. "

Footsteps pattered against the rocks, now turning into soft taps once they got to the grass-covered land.  
" Yuunnoooo! Where the hell did you go? " Asta shouted right outside the church. Recca turned around. " He doesn't wanna see you, Asta! Go away!! " She said and crossed her arms together. Sister Lily didn't protest in the matter and only pushed Recca behind her with a smile. " It's not nice to say things like that. "  
" But it's truuuee!! Why does Asta have to be here of no one likes him? We could just kick him out... "

' That hurt... '

" What is it, Asta? " Yuno asked with a gentle look on his face. He felt bad that he was about to run away from him so soon. He almost didn't answer until he saw his 'rival' blink at him. He didn't even seem to notice the tall man standing next to him.  
" O-Oh, yeah, um... Where's that shiny stone you took from me a while ago? " Asta asked as he nervously fiddled with his fingers. " Oh, I have it. Here you go. " He answered and stuck a hand in his pocket. Asta was returned with a magic stone in his hands, and then gave it to the man.  
" Thanks kid, " He said. Asta walked away and the man walked right beside of him until they got to the cave again.  
" By the way... You're coming with me. " The man said as he now held a strong grip on the teen's shoulder. Asta didn't have the guts to look at his face.

" Wh-Wh-What? "  
' What could he ever want with me? '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for typos and the overuse of commas


	7. 6Captain?6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter

He's been many places in his life, but not into another realm.

The tall man with the spacial magic huffed. " Yami, is this the new kid we're recruiting? "  
" Yeah. Well, after he takes the exam, he will. " The broad smoking man replied.  
' WHAT?!?! I DIDN'T EVEN AGREE TO ANY OF THIS!!! '  
Being thrown through a portal for the first time made him feel oddly dizzy, or it could have been the hand that was wrapped firmly around his head that sent him at an alarmingly high speed into the dirt. He spit out the few specks that got in his mouth and looked up at the large who-knew-how-many-stories-there-are building. It looked like it was on fire before someone put it out.  
" Well, walk inside, don't just stand there. "  
" R - Right, sorry! "  
With a clink of his shoes, he warily made his way towards the creepy building. He nearly dodged a strike of lightning coming from inside of it.  
When Asta walked inside, two mages of flame and lightning were dueling.  
" I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS, LUCK!!! "  
" You'll have to catch me to do that, Magna! "  
The flame mage shot dozens of fire bullets at the young looking lightning mage. " GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD! "  
His only reply was a giggle as he shot out of the building.

" Wow... What a place!!! "

With his eyes focused on the two fighters, he hardly noticed the tall lavender eyed woman hiccuping right beside him with her arm around his shoulder. " Hey, you're that *hic* kid our captain was telling us about, about you *hic* almost getting killed. "  
" Wait, when did you even tell them?! " Asta said aloud and looked at the man with the cigarette. He reddened when she blew in his ear and traced the lines of his neck with her fingertips. He looked over at her but he was met with an even more painful sight. " Well *hic*, I can give you a gift for not dying. " She said with a lazy smile and brought him closer.  
Asta gently pushed her away. " I wish I could accept it, but I... "  
A short girl walked over to him. " Hello there, la! I heard what our captain said about you! Here, have this as a reward, " She smiled up at him and offered a cupcake against his mouth. " Sure, thanks. " He said and took it. He took a small bite out of it as his eyes widened. " Woah, this tastes amazing! " He said and smiled. A large creature behind him huffed smoke. The only word he made out was " ssssuuuuuuuuuuuuup " and they awkwardly backed away from each other until he bumped into someone. Turning around, he apologized and freaked out when he saw a white face with black circles around his eyes and black lip makeup. All he could hear is mumbles. Was he flaming him? Was he apologizing too? Was he talking about being best friends with him for the rest of his life, where they would eat together, sleep together, bathe together, fight together, use the restroom together, and tell each other's secrets together? Either way, he had no idea what this man wanted from him.  
" Oooh, my little sister Marie. I want to see you so badly. " A man with burlwood hair said. ' Talk about creepy! ' Asta thought and shivered as violently as the guy's nosebleed.  
He looked down and sat on the floor when everyone else was sitting on the couches.  
" Should I introduce him to everyone? " The guy with the weirdest brown hair questioned.  
" You've always done this with everyone. Give it a shot then. "  
" Sure."

" Ahem. Hello there, my name is Finral Roulacase. I'm known as the most handsome guy in the kingdom. "

" Right... "  
He pointed to the pink haired woman.  
" This right here is Vanessa Enoteca. She gets drunk frequently and gets a little too close to people, but she's a good person.  
" This is Grey. No one knows much about him, he's just kind of... Around. He's helpful once in a while thought. He's a good person.  
" And this chap right here is Gordon Agrippa. He might seem a little creepy, but he's just misunderstood. He's a good person.  
" The short girl is Charmy Pappitson. All she does is eat, but she's our trademark. Her food is wonderful. She's a good person.  
" Those two that ran outside I promise you are good people. The one with the flame magic is Magna Swing, and the other is Luck Voltia. They're both a handful, Luck loves to fight and Magna is a delinquent. "  
" And this is our captain, the leader of the Black Bulls, Yami Sukehiro! He's a little rough on the edges, but... Yeah. "

" No ' He's a good person? '" Asta asked.

" Well... " Finral started until the guy called Magna came bursting through the wall with his butt on fire. " AAAHH!!! SOMEBODY PUT IT OUT! LUCK YOU BASTARD! "  
Finral wasn't lying when he said they were a handful.  
" Hahahaha! Magna you're an idiot! You should know how to put it out since your affinity is flames! " Luck said and smiled. " By the way, when you asked who ate your pudding, it was me! I lied. "  
" WHAAAT? WHY?!?! "  
" Because it looked so yummy! I would never do this just for you to fight me! "  
Magna ran upstairs to shove himself in a sink and proceed to turn the faucet on cold.  
Everyone below heard a loud shriek and didn't assume it was anything more than Magna being Magna and turning cold on.

' Wow... These people are crazy. Do I really look good hanging out with them? '

Yami chuckled while pulling the cigarette out of his mouth. " Have fun fitting in with these dumbasses, kid. Even if you're now in my squad, I'm making you take the exam. There's no way I'm letting flamebrain kill you because you can't block his attacks. "  
" Wha- I didn't even agree to join it!!! "  
" And why the hell would you not want to join it? You think I don't know the shit you've been through? I know somebody who's an acquaintance of the people who own that church. They're not good people. "  
" Well... I was gonna run away, not to be found by people like this... " Asta said and looked at his feet. He hardly remembered last night until now and regretted mentioning it when he felt down.  
Yami sighed. " That's why I brought you here, so you're not treated like garbage. Why would you want to run off somewhere and be depressed and somehow die? " He reasoned with him. There was a genuine hint in his voice that gave Asta hope.  
" I... "  
" It's a miracle you even survived that guy's magic, but from someone like you who is pretty much used to dodging magic all the time, I would expect no less."  
" You've got some muscles too, kid, it shows how hard you've worked. The someone I know tells me, ' He's a hard worker with a rival to the wizard king's throne '. If you're gonna become the wizard king, then at least think of becoming a magic knight. "  
Asta up looked at him and smiled. " I can try to, but how will I become a magic knight? " He questioned and stood up. Yami laughed at him. " Then you'll have to work twice as hard, if not more. "

' I am not looking forward to that. '

Finral cleared his throat.

" I think they shortened the wait of the scouting event by about 3 months this time. I don't know why. " Finral mentioned and kicked his foot against the ground. The harsh scuff of his shoes was enough to give Asta the nails+chalkboard feeling.  
" That means you have less time to train. Where's your grimoire? "  
" I don't have a grimoire, Finral sir. "  
" You mean you're not fifteen yet? "  
" No, I am fifteen, I didn't get one. "  
" Wow, I've never heard of anyone who never got their grimoire. " He said and looked to his captain.  
" Do you really think he should take the exam if he's got no grimoire and no magic, Captain Yami? "

" Something tells me he'll get it soon. Why not? "

" Whatever you say, Captain... "


	8. A new home

Swatting the blade around like a madman, the teen hit the dummy found in the room Magna liked to call 'The Fun Place'. He borrowed a sword from Yami, which to be specific it wasn't his. It was a friends. One wrong move and the blade would probably snap, and there goes his head, ripped off by Captain Yami. He was careful to make the promise he had made to not break it stay in tact. For once in his life he cursed his trained arms.   
Days turned into weeks where he did this daily, stopping enough to properly learn everybody's name and what they liked and where they liked to be. Out of all of them Finral seemed to be the most normal, which is why he was the only one Asta talked and asked questions to. Next to that was Gordon. He thought he just had anxiety and needed someone to talk to.

With Yami's boldness and harshness, Gauche's obsession with his younger sister, Grey's height off the charts and blowing out smoke awkwardly, Charmy's gluttonous belly and short, childish stature, Magna's delinquency, Luck's eagerness to pick a fight, Gordon's quiet personality, Vanessa's drunk funk and Finral's flirtatious charm... Even when they're all so weird, weirder than he was, did he really fit in?

He swung once, twice, then finally a third time.

A chip of the dummy must have been sit flying against the back of his shoulder somehow. He swore he had just felt someone or something touch him.  
He felt the breath and the voice of a woman saying 'aloha' to him. The teen turned around and pulled his head back out of her face when he noticed it was the woman named Vanessa.  
" Hey, kid. You having fun? " She asked and gave him a smile. He looked at her and seemed to lightly smile back. " Hello Miz Vanessa. Just training as usual. " He answered and swung the sword one last time before he dropped it onto the ground.   
" I see. I came in here to tell you, everyone's about to eat. I dunno what time you'd like to. " The woman told him. The recognized slur in her accent was enough to tell him she drank something earlier, and whatever it was, he could smell it too.  
It was then he realized he'd spent more than a couple hours training. " Okay. Thanks for telling me. " He said and pulled his tunic over his head and then against his arms, tugging to pull it down. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead just before he swiped them off, then they were sent flying. " No problem! " He heard Vanessa say and then footsteps stroll out of the room.  
The smell of the food in the cafeteria was enough to convince him to walk faster through the halls. Each step felt slower than the next until he found himself in front of all of the prepared dishes. Charmy figured all of his hard work paid off when she saw Asta eat 3 plates of the hot rice, rolls and potatoes drizzled in gravy with tons of steak-lookalikes stacked in 5s around him.  
" Oh, yeah, remember that new recruit Yami was talking about? That girl? " Finral asked Vanessa before he shoved a fork into his mouth. Vanessa looked over at him. " No. I haven't seen Yami since last night. What's him and telling us about new recruits? " She asked with food in her mouth. Asta looked over at them. New recruit?  
" Don't take it lightly. He says the most weirdest things when he first wakes up in the morning. This was a week ago. I'm sure the others remember, right, guys? "  
Finral cringed when Grey, Gordon and Charmy didn't answer. Gordon was mumbling something unearthly, Charmy was stuffing her face and Grey blew out smoke. " You guys are useless sometimes, " He said and hit his face with a facepalm and a sigh.  
" Oh, yeah, I met 'er. She's a bitch but something tells me she's got it hard! " Magna said. Luck smiled at him. " She's got a lot of magic power! " Luck said and through his plate in the trash. " I wonder if she will fight with me. "  
With full stomachs and content smiles, everyone got up and continued doing their chores, everyone except for Charmy.  
Asta threw his own trash away and pondered. He wanted to go outside, but it seemed a little chilly...  
With the workout he did he was sweating already. Not to mention hot. The cold would feel good against his skin.  
The door opened and the darkness showed itself, or rather, the light had left. The grass reached out for seemingly miles as he viewed it and rivers and rocks scattered carelessly across the rough earth. Maybe the grass was green, maybe the moon wasn't blue, but the reflection of the light made the hues cooler than normal daylight. He took a moment to take in every little shadow of each fleck of grass. They moved as the wind blew. The heat from his cheeks left him and burned even redder as if the cold bit him - which to say, he wasn't surprised - it had been really cold lately.  
The flowers he viewed around the tall building were of ones he never payed attention to, or maybe he has never seen them in his life. His eyes squinted as he saw a shot of light strike into his eye which was a reflection off of a nearby water source.  
He walked forward and continued slowly for a minute and watched a scurrying mouse leap across a rock into a hole in the ground. It was smart.  
Before he walked any further, he heard sound - some sort of noise. Rustling of clothes, stepping of shoes, the gasp of a girl who he saw now had her hand out in front of her as if she were about to attack him when he looked behind him.  
" Oh, it's just you. "  
It wasn't anything not normal to look anyone straight in the eyes, in fact, everyone did it back at home and he figured out here as well, but he didn't expect to lock eyes with someone like her. He knew she was royalty from the start. He observed the symbol on the clips holding her clothes together.  
" May I help you? " He asked and played with his hands in order to be rid of nervousness.  
" Actually, yes, where's your captain? " The girl asked and put her hand on her hip.   
" He should be in the building in the main room... "

" Great, I don't know where that is,  
though. "

" Oh. Should I take you? " 

" That would be appreciated. "

He lead her towards the door he left from and walked through and held the door open for her. As she walked in, she froze and watched the mess unravel in front of her.  
Magna screeched at Luck. " GIVE IT BACK YOU SKINNY BASTARD!!! "  
" If you keep giving it to me I won't be skinny anymore, Magna! "  
He saw shots of lightning and fire shoot across the room and backed away. " Yeah, don't mind them. I think I know where he is. "  
The bathroom. He checked the bathroom. The knock on the door shook.  
" Captain Yami, someone wants to see you. "  
" Tell them we don't take visitors! I already payed my debt. "  
" It's that new girl! She's looking for you! "  
" Well, I'm taking a big one right now. You can wait. "  
" Ahehe... Okay... "

" Yeah, that didn't work out. " The girl said and looked away from him. " Well you can stay here if you want... " He suggested and blushed lightly. He hoped the cold of the air from minutes ago still burned his face for an excuse.  
" In this trainwreck? No way! What are they doing? Why are they fighting like cavemen? " She shouted looking at the two people fighting. " I promise they're welcoming in their own ways! "

Magna shot a fire ball at the wall as it exploded into tiny bits.

" Yeah, I don't think so. "


	9. Do you care? No, really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " No... No way. There's no way I can defeat this guy. "
> 
> Asta never got his grimoire, however, that never stopped him from taking the magic knights scouting event.
> 
> ·:- ~~~ -:·
> 
> Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait for anyone who actually reads this, I have been procrastinating this chapter and got bored frequently with it at first until I got a few ideas.  
The way I write sentences is confusing to a whole bunch of people, and I've been trying to fix it. Fortunately the more I use it the better I pull it off the next time. I think I've uploaded wrong as well. I am used to AO3's layout, but I mess things up so bad when I try to fix mistakes. Sorry.

Magna grinned and put his hand on Asta's blue-clothed shoulder. " Hey there, lil' Rasta! You been training hard again? "

Asta turned his head and lowered the thin sword he was given.

" Yeah, yeah. " He smiled back a little.

Ever since he'd been given the chance to join the magic knights, regardless if he loses or wins the fight, he's been training his poor head off - no, ever since he felt the need to, back at the church - he'd been training since then. Getting himself stronger regardless if he obtained his grimoire or not.  
" Might wanna take a break. Dunno if you feel pain after training for 8 hours straight every day, but you ever feel like you overwork yourself? " Magna questioned and walked around the room. It looked like Asta made the room his own little home.  
" It hurts a little bit, but it's nothing. " He smiled and placed the sword on a table.  
Luck jumped in. " You know, with you working so hard and getting stronger, we could fight soon! " He grinned and laughed while he hopped around the room exploring the new objects and vibe of the place.  
" No thanks... "

He looked outside of the small window. It was night again. He felt himself yawn. " I think this is enough for today. I'm beat. " Asta said while looking around for Luck. He was on the wall.  
" You're always the first one to go to sleep! Well, besides the drunk. She sleeps every time she has a small sip of booze. " Magna said. " And Gauche. Poor guy faints from blood loss half the time. "

" Yeah, but I've just been pretty tired. "  
Tired of everything...

Asta shook his head.

Luck landed on the ground. " Let's fight in the morning, 'kay? " He smiled with innocence. The shorter teen chuckled awkwardly with nervous sweat.

" Anyways, 'cya guys. " He said and walked away from them and out of the room. He stopped when he saw Noelle step in front of him. " Hey. Do you know where the rooms are this time? They moved again. " She asked.  
Asta watched her hair sway. " Oh, I- Yeah. If you go through that hall, " he pointed, " You should turn left and keep going right after you pass it. " He instructed.  
" Thanks... "  
Asta smiled. She smiled back slightly.  
After she walked away, he felt himself step through the different halls and to his room where he looked out the window from his bed.

The half moon glistened brightly throughout the sky lighting up trees and rocks and the continuously flowing river that he saw a while back.

A while back...  
When he found the people that care for him...  
And the people that had the decency to support him. They're the ones that taught him all he knew up until now.  
  
  


_It's not like the exam was that far away. Just next week._   
  


_But I feel super stressed. I've never been able to do something like this before! I wonder what it's like._   
  
  


Asta got up and shut the door that let gentle light fill the room. He pulled his headband and short jacket off, setting it on a nearby table and put his shoes beside his bed like every night. He sat back on his bed and rubbed his eyes. It wasn't until now he felt the physical stress on his muscles, his bones, his being - his whole soul.  
In the morning he would take a bath, he thought, in the morning he would get up and find something to do afterwards. In the morning he would find something to occupy himself from his thoughts. In the morning, he would find himself doing something else rather than...  
training...

In the morning... Later...

No more worrying about now... Just...

drift off...

feel peaceful...  
  
  
for once

\-----

He woke up.

Except, the bed he woke up in wasn't a bed... He thought, _weird_. It felt oddly floaty and eerie.

It wasn't until he opened his eyes that he noticed everything around him was gone.  
All the bricks, windows, the fresh grass, the rivers, the ground, the sky...  
There was nothing.

He felt slight panic well up within him when he heard a deep voice boom from around him. " Yo, " it said, " So you've finally made it here? "  
_Made it here_? He thought, _made it here... This has to be a dream..._ But everything felt so real to him. The pumping of his heart, the breathing of his lungs, the twitches of his fingers as he has yet to grasp anything in this black- no, not black, not any color, just... A void.  
His voice even felt real as he murmured a quiet _Huh_?.  
The voice laughed at him. Out of nowhere, time seemed to slow down until he felt himself falling and falling for what seemed like eternity - feeling the wind against his face, he screamed and tried to search for something to hold onto - but only when he fell into complete darkness was he in a physical body again, and he opened his eyes wide and stared at the grass beneath him that he held in his palms. His knees felt wet from landing on them.  
He felt adrenaline rush through him.  
Where was he?  
He looked around and felt the sun burn on his face - it had to be sometime in the afternoon. As he turned his head, he felt a wave of negative nostalgia rush through him just like the adrenaline.  
_Hage village? But I was so far away._  
He thought more about how he got here and the creepy voice he could still remember. It gave off a very eerie vibe, and for some reason, he could still feel it- as if it was in him.  
How did he get here?  
_Wait... Did the Black Bulls not want me anymore? Did they really come all the way over to Hage village so they could... But I..._  
He lost himself a little.  
_I worked so hard, and they..._  
For a moment, he forgot it was just a dream. But was it really just a dream, or something different entirely?  
Before he could get up, he felt a heavy stab straight through his back and saw a sharp object poking through the front of his chest. He still breathed softly and tilted his head backwards to see behind him.  
The person had golden eyes, a soft smile, and messy dark hair...  
The pain was unbearable. His eyes shot open. His fingers twitched. His voice quivered. " Yuno.. "  
Everything got dark for a moment, but the pain coursed through him and he fell on his side onto the grass and watched the trees gently sway against the wind, the sun shining and water glistening in the fields where people worked. He laid beside the tree, blood seeping out of his wound before gushing out violently after the object disappeared, watching Yuno walk away.  
Under Yuno's breath, he whispered, " De mo ".

unbelievable... He thought,

_unbelievable_......

...._Unbelievable_............

" _**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH**_!!! "

·:- ~~~ -:·

Asta shot up off of his pillow. His throat burned from screaming himself awake.

He saw Magna peep through the door and look right at him. It was opened. " You okay Lil' Rasta? " He asked and walked in and stood. He saw someone beside Magna but he couldn't make out who it was with the tears forming in his eyes, with his whole body shaking and hurting along with his teeth from clenching them which made his nose cringe.  
How dare they see him like this, he thought, so weak and eyes full of tears, so tired yet he didn't want to sleep into that dream again, and how dare he want them when that consisted of the Black Bulls abandoning him, and his bestest friend turning into a backstabbing one? He reacted so calmly in the dream, he confused himself, he felt something change inside him, almost...  
" I'm fine. I just had a bad dream! " He forced out and smiled despite not wanting to talk. His voice didn't crack, but it wavered, and he figured if it didn't crack it would be okay.

" Whatever you say! I'm out. I still need some sleep so I'll see ya later, Rasta!! "

And then he was out, and so was the other figure. He wanted Magna to be a little more hesitant. Surely he can't be that much of an airhead...

And Asta was left alone with his thoughts.

And he did not want to be.

And he did not want to go to sleep to not think.

And he didn't want to think about what would happen if he slept.

And-

Asta could only think of so many reasons before he worked himself up again. He remained silent and looked out the window to find the river he always looked at glistening in the moonlight before tracing his eyesight over the trees. The trees reminded him of something odd. Something dark, forbidden, devilish... And then he felt himself suck in a sharp breath as his brain reminded him of what happened before. Was it his own brain, or was it something else? The trees in his dream, the trees in his dream, the trees in his dream, he thought, they did nothing to help him. Something so big and something that could live such a long time, something that was so gentle but if you cut it down , it could kill you by just standing right if it decided to fall. If. If if if, he thought, that can still change if you just move. It can change your life. I can change. I can change so people can like me and not throw me away, he thought, he sighed, he gasped in air again and threw his head into the pillow. His face clenched in guilt and sadness and anger and oh, why couldn't he control himself? Why couldn't he stop his emotions from making him cry loudly into his bed, from making people disregard him so much and call him a failure, from...  
Despair... and the same feeling he had as the voice talked to him appeared inside of him, but not only just inside of him, he felt it all around him, and it suffocated him as it filled the room. He opened the window as if it would help. It opened surprisingly quick for someone who is shaking as if their whole body is having a tremor, an earthquake like the ground... He instantly thought people own ground. It was property, and that thought reminded him of a time where he was treated like cheap property... Stepped on and kicked around, like dirt...  
_No, no, don't think about those times,_ he thought, _I'm in a much better place now, but-_  
He recalled the made-up disgusted faces they had as he hadn't remembered in the dream. The Black Bulls sounded so genuine as they spoke trash about him, calling him nasty names and throwing him onto the ground like that.  
_It felt... so real though_, Asta thought.  
His pillow was soaked with hot tears and the drips from his nose and saliva which he didn't care to wipe off of his mouth when he looked up, but gently laid his head back down as he clenched the covers roughly.  
He felt a little better. The thickness in the air died down from an unknown substance that comforted him in a creepy way.  
He was feeling better that is, until he heard the voice in his head again.  
" n... "  
" N... "  
He felt like it made him think of the fake Yuno saying " De mo ". It didn't mean much to him at the time but...

" **N** "  
The voice yelled,  
" **DE MO** "  
Yuno's voice yelled,  
" **N** "  
" **DE MO** "  
" **N** "  
" **DE MO** "  
" **N-**  
He grabbed his head and wanted to snap his neck, anything, anything for the pain to go away, all the guilt, sadness, despair, for the voices to stop.  
He wanted to scream, to do something, but Magna already came in here wondering if he was okay as he yelled. He didn't want to wake Magna up again, nor anyone else he woke up with his annoying screaming, as everyone thought, and if he woke up Captain Yami...  
It was unbelievable how hard he tugged on his throat to let him breathe but his body was so focused on trying to cry and live at the same time that he found himself gasping for air and making these weird noises, he didn't even notice another person standing at the door.  
" Hey, Asta... " The man rubbed his eyes, " Could you- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!?! " He exclaimed. Asta turned his head hurriedly at Finral. He couldn't talk, or his voice would...  
He stared this helpless stare after he wiped his mouth. His red, glossy eyes closed as he tried not to cry more, but couldn't hold all of it in as he covered his mouth and yelped, almost.  
" Yeah, I have no idea how this works, so if you could just excuse me for a second so I can think about what to do! "  
Asta kept staring at him. This guy was comic relief. He almost forgot what happened a second ago before he remembered why Finral came in here. " F-Finral, you don't have to do anything... It's better if you just try to ignore me, I'll be fine after this. It just happens sometimes. "  
_Right... Like I feel like I'm being possessed sometimes... As if that could ever happen. But it felt so weird, as if I was..._

" I mean, if you say so... " Finral said with concern in his voice. Asta knew he always did this, and they always sounded concerned for him, but he felt like they didn't always say what he wanted them to say.  
He didn't know how to ask for help. He'd been doing it this whole time, but nobody heard him. Or, they didn't know what to do, to say... They did not know how to deal with him.  
If Yuno couldn't do it, then Finral obviously couldn't either. Asta knew that.  
Finral waved at him before he left. He gently shut the door. Asta could hear his footsteps loud and clear.  
...Finral stepped really loud. Or maybe that was just his mind playing with him. He still didn't know whether it was his mind or if it was something to do with that weird voice, but he felt entirely different. He was still the same, but everything to him... Just felt out of place, like if somebody took two of the same picture, they're obviously the same. One was made before the other. They're two separate things, but they're the same.  
...Nothing changed except for a demonic presence he noticed. It burned inside him, but it didn't hurt. It was wild, deathly, but if it was alive, then it would now be the closest thing to understanding him. An inner demon...

Asta yawned. He didn't want to sleep again, not after what he dreamed about - but he just felt so tired, so weak - and being awake in the middle of the night wasn't helping, so he ignored the wet feeling in his pillow when he felt himself fall and the surface of his bed rushed up and met his face suddenly.  
He pulled the blankets over himself and shut his eyes. He covered them with the blanket and held some in his arms to hold onto, and imagined it was something important, someone that reminded him of...

Gentlewoman?...

.... Silver?.........

He fell asleep with a slight smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I made a few plot holes, but I don't know what they are because I'm a domehead. Possible grammar mistakes too, and overused commas and run on sentences.  
I have actually a bunch in mind at the moment and everyone comments something so simple it's not going to happen. Nobody gave me ideas for what's gonna happen, so I guess people are gonna have to wait before I get it out, even if it's just a total scrap of garbage. Please don't pay attention to the terrible way I write or describe things, but try to imagine it more than just read it and be, "Oh, so that happened.". Try to see it.  
I write confusing things too.
> 
> "when he felt himself fall and the surface of his bed rushed up and met his face suddenly"  
Asta was too exhausted to keep himself upright, so he fell.  
"met his face suddenly"  
He felt the surface of his pillow hit his face when he fell onto it.  
It's literally what it means.


	10. AMORPHOUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asta's strange shift warns and scares him, him taking it as a sign of offense. They prepare to go to the capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohoh damn it's been so long since I've updated. i'm pretty sure literally everyone stopped waiting for the next chapter but DAHAHA MADA MADA!!! I'LL UPDATE IT NO MATTER WHAT NOW THAT I FINALLY HAVE LORE!!!
> 
> -astas

The burning of the sun seemingly opened his eyes itself as he then sat up on his bed.  
He felt oddly satisfied after sleeping. It felt... Almost completely normal. Well, it would've been normal if he could somehow shake off another feeling - one that's eery, creepy, frightening - one he didn't want to feel first thing after waking up. It shook up the balance of calmness in his body.  
He hardly noticed the aching feeling throughout himself until he leaned forward to put weight on his foot, wincing and letting out a quiet groan as he put a hand onto the nearby table, even when his hand cramped, he held still.  
This had always been the time when he regretted trying his best. The time where he wakes up, his body starting to feel like his being is crumbling into pieces....  
Just like at the... No. Don't think of something so dark off of something silly. You can go at least 5 minutes without doing that, can't you, Asta?  
That felt funny.  
Asta never was the one to comfort himself in these trying times. It always seemed weird to him, as if he were putting himself on a pedestal, like the self-absorbed little bitch he thought himself to be.  
Even more confused when he felt cloth beneath his feet as he started walking, he looked down at the beige shirt under his foot. Oh. I must've took it off sometime in the night... He looked down at himself. I didn't even notice I didn't have a shirt on. Did something happen...?  
It moved slightly. He jumped. He dared to shutter as an unknown presence behind him felt stronger, radiating just within the corners of his eyes...  
Crap... What is that thing? What does it even want? He thought, backing away until he felt hands, no - awfully long claws firmly grip on his shoulders.

" Looming. " 

The shift's talons dragged across the skin on his back, moving down to lightly ghost the claws against Asta's ribcage.

" Impending. "

Looking behind him to see what it was, his eyes only widened when he didn't see anyone. There was only a light mist of black. Looking towards the door and back to it, he swore he saw eyes form in it.  
"Huh..." He muttered in question, not realizing he was beginning to start to shake. "What are..."

" Don't tell the elf of the imminent terror. "

He blinked. It was only gone when Yami decided to step into the room.  
" What's up, you just get up? We're taking a trip to the tub, so if you don't mind, wipe the wide eyes off your face. It doesn't look nice. "  
Asta blinked again. " Oh, okay. Sure... " He said tiredly.  
No matter how much he'd believe it or not, that thing was not a hallucination.

Walking down the hallway, he knew the others noticed his light trembling when they joined him.

It shook him. It showed.

\-----

He was way too out of it to be embarrassed about this. Sliding his capris off, his other hand rubbed his eye, ridding it of sleepiness as he also tossed his boxers off to the side. He watched Magna get in with little effort, not wincing even when Asta knew the water was burning just by dipping the tip of his foot in.  
Magna-senpai... How does he do it?  
"I wonder what the root of conversation'll be this time..." Finral muttered, a tired glance to another one if his squadmates when they spoke up.  
"I just had this weird memory of my old man and I. Y'know, how we'd chase each other?"  
"Oh yeah? Whatchya mean?" Finral asked curiously, his body sinking deeper into the water with an aah.  
Magna shifted slightly and limp-wristed when he spoke again. "I dunno, man. It's one of those things, uh, intrusive thoughts? Anyways, the guy was basically my dad with how close we were..."  
So, I'm guessing family's the focus this time? he thought, matching Finral's actions as he sunk deeper into the burning yet comforting water. His muscles felt at ease when he closed his eyes to feel the tingling sensation make his spine arc.  
"Ohh? You really liked your old man, huhh?" Luck smiled, "My mom always used to say weird things to me until I discovered my real powers." he mentioned.  
"Since you all seem to be sharing your life history, I have always protected my angel Marie, and I always will. It doesn't matter if I have to go to prison again or not-"  
Before Gauche could finish his sentence, they heard a wild crack noise for an audible 5 seconds before Asta shifted his glance up, gesturing towards the ceiling, expression seeming one of a heart attack until Magna brushed it off as another one of those 'ghost happenings', but when he realized Yami didn't seem to be talking about anything that happened within his life, Asta got slightly worried. Did he have a tragic past just like- Wait, no, he thought. My past wasn't tragic at all. I'm sure these guys've got something real special going on, but... Me...? I just...  
Deep in thought, Asta couldn't hear Finral say something about his past either. His eyes shot open when he heard them call his name several times, however.  
" Yeah, Asta, how was your life? Also, what happened to you know, your chest...? "  
What? How was he supposed to respond to that? Good, bad? It was such a random question, and even though it fits directly in the topic of family for most people, he wasn't even sure how to...  
Asta froze in place and began to sweat. Eyes widening further, he slid backwards slightly within the water.  
" I-It- "  
"LAAAAAAA!!! Why can't I bring food into the tuuub?!"  
"Uhh, maybe because you might drop it? That'd just ruin the whole point of this being a cleansing bath...??" Noelle voiced. Grey leaned back while breathing spoke, letting out a groan when their form took up much of the room space.  
Uhh... Is Grey a guy or a lady again? Asta thought.  
Charmy LAAA'd once more and pouted when she heard her stomach grumble out of hunger. Everyone seemed to laugh at her, but Asta looked around at everyone with retracting eyebrows as his awkward smile turned slightly sour.  
Gauche, summoning a mirror to look into, faced away from everyone else and looked deep into his magical reflection. "Whatever. Marie is more important," He finished, nose gushing blood when his little sister appeared in the mirror's face.

After a little more soaking, the squad eventually got out and dried themselves off before they put their clothes back on. Asta, fixing his robe to look more symmetrical, focused his eyes on Yami when he lit a cigarette and began to speak to them.  
"Listen up you morons, the wizard king is sending a few of you to the capital to talk to you about the event, or something. Ones who haven't took the test yet will be the only ones going to the capital, so, if you haven't, then get your happy asses over here."  
Asta peered over the many shoulders to look for Noelle and only walked up to Yami when he remembered she had to go as well.  
"Since most of you are staying, I expect you all to behave while these two are gone. Oh, and Finral, since we'll need him to get there on time."  
Finral gave him a glance that spoke 'I'm already so dead inside, how could you?'. Asta read it like a book.  
" YES, YAMI SIR!!"  
" I'll just be looking at my angelic sister while you're away. "  
Nodding and gulping when Asta had no other choice to oblige, he ran into his room to dry his hair.

Coming back with still damp yet messy hair to see his squad feasting, Asta stopped in his tracks when he smelt the strong stench of food in the air, and oh, it smelt so good to him. It was obviously evident when his stomach growled suddenly, even when he decided he wasn't going to eat this morning, so he ended up walking over to sit down on the couch in the corner of the room.  
" What do you think they're gonna talk about with Noelle and the others? "

" I dunno, probably about the exam. "

" Or maybe they're actually gonna do something completely different since they're new! "

" I doubt that... "

As the conversation went on, Asta began to zone out within his own thoughts.  
'Yeah! How was your life, Asta?'  
How was he... How was he supposed to respond to something like that?  
He didn't even realize Noelle walked up to him until she waved her hand in front of his face, then sitting down next to him with a plate of food in her grasp. Her tails swayed as she tilted her head in concern. " Are you feeling alright? I-I mean, since we're going somewhere soon, I don't want you to get sick or anything. Magna told me about last night, so uhm... "  
Asta didn't feel sick before, but the shock of remembering last night made his stomach churn in all sorts of ways. He swallowed hard, putting on his best convincing tone as she waited for his response.  
" Yeah, I feel great. Was just lost in thought. " He said as he put up a smile. It felt oddly unsatisfying on his lips, the curves of it almost hurting.  
She smiled back at him and placed her plate beside her. " That's good to hear. What were you thinking about so hard? "  
" About the exam and stuff. I've never done something like that before, so I guess it's pretty self explanatory, hehe. "  
He felt guilty as he lied to her, but he felt like she was the type of person to go off and make a whole rant about how he shouldn't be feeling so depressed and guilty all of the time. As much as he wanted to be so open about it, he could really be taken away from here if the church ever found out about his location and somehow found out the squad knew about his past.  
" I agree. I mean, I feel like I won't pass even though I have a lot of mana, and of course, even though I'm a royal... " She vented. " But you don't even have a grimoire, right? I'm not looking down on you or anything, though. I hope you're able to find an advantage against the person who you're supposed to beat. "  
Oh no. I think I said too much, She thought as she watched Asta's eyes widen by a million.  
" I-I, uh... "  
She noticed his face flush red slightly.  
" U-Uhm... " He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. " I can't tell if you're joking or not, b-but you took the effort to say that to me, so... "  
She listened to him carefully, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment.  
" Th-Thank you. "  
Noelle looked away. " Y-You're welcome. It's only fitting of royalty to motivate their comrades. "  
Internally, Asta was smiling extremely hard. It showed on the outside too as he nearly smiled so hard he felt like his facial muscles were strained.  
Oh god, I probably look like an idiot right now!  
" B-Besides, are you sure you were supposed to get your grimoire? You look short enough to be 12! "  
" Huh?! " Asta exclaimed. " I'm just super short!! "  
" Whatever you say... "  
Silence engulfing the two for a moment, even with their loud squad yelling in the background, they waited.  
Asta's eyes landed on the food that was mostly eaten on Noelle's plate, his stomach growling.  
" Uhh... Was that you or me? "  
" Of course it wasn't me! I'm the one eating! "  
He looked at her and then her plate. " I guess you have a point... "  
Noelle shoved her plate in his face. " Eat this. "  
" What? I can't. "  
" Why not? "  
" Because? "  
" Cause why? You're hungry. Eat it, " She urged, swirling it around in circles, his eyes following it until he backed his face up slightly.  
" I don't want it... "  
" And your body says otherwise. Stop denying royalty's orders and eat it up like it's the best thing you've ever tasted. "  
Asta looked at her with a blank stare. " I could always find something later, y'know... " He urged harder, his eyebrows clenching when she wouldn't move it away from his face.  
" Why are you making such a big deal out of it? It's literally not that hard. "  
" Well, why are you making such a big deal out of it? It's literally not that hard to wait for food. "  
" But you're so insistent that you don't eat, Asta. No normal person would decline food when they're starving? "  
The emptiness within Asta's gaze only seemed to accumulate. His expression relaxed. " I'm sorry. It was forced into me. "  
" Huh? "  
" Anyways, what is that? "  
" You can't tell? I thought we've both been here long enough to tell what it was. It's just steak with potatoes and gravy. "  
" O-Oh... "  
Noelle stabbed a small piece of steak with her fork and held it up to his lips, Asta flinching and making a noise of surprise.  
" Please, eat it. I don't know why you refused so much before, but you really need to. "  
Asta watched the expression on her face.  
" S-Sure... " He mumbled. He could feel the saliva in his mouth start to cover the inside of his lips. Parting them slightly, Noelle pushed it inside his mouth and pulling out the fork when Asta bit down.  
Chewing slightly, putting a hand to cover his mouth, taking a moment to taste the flavor... Wow, he thought. That tastes amazing-Wait, should I even be eating this?  
Guilt rushed over him as he swallowed it. It tastes so good, and she was nice enough to offer it to me... But I can't.  
" U-Uhm, thanks, but the rest is yours... " He mumbled while getting up, his hands trembling as he backed away from the royal and her plate of food.  
Her eyebrows clenched as he backed away even further, turning around to walk off.  
" Wait! Come back, you haven't eaten enough, dumbsta! " She yelled after him.  
" LATER!!! "  
" NOT LATER, NOW!!! " Noelle screamed at the top of her lungs angrily as she sped after him quite easily, catching his wrist as she pulled him back and on top of her, holding her arms around his neck and chest so he wouldn't run away again. " ah- wait- I'm sorry, I- "  
" There's no weaseling out of this one! Come on, Asta! Is eating really that bad? "

...

...'There's no weaseling out of this one, child.'...

...

His heart dropped slightly.

'I'm sorry! I can do better- Wait- please, no...'

It jumped with every memory forced into his head.

'Not again... I don't want to be forced to-'

He only trembled further in Noelle's grasp, his eyes widening as a burning feeling in the back of his throat rose.

'It won't last as long if you don't complain.'  
Innocent eyes shut, the hand on the small head forcing it down, and...

" Dumbsta? "

He remembered waking up several hours later that day with his throat in a world of pain.

" Uhm, Asta...? "

Being twelve with such a small body will do that to you.

" Hello...?? " Noelle called for the last time, her grip fading as Asta seemed to slowly turn around and grip her new robe. 

" I don't... "

She looked at his expression which told her shock and revelation.

" I don't want to do it again... "

Whatever he was talking about was unclear to her, and even when Asta suddenly sprung up and seemed to be back to normal, she gave him an odd look.

" What was that? "

" I don't remember, honestly. When are we supposed to leave to visit the capital? "  
His voice was so shaky before, and now he seemed to be... Fine? The sudden change of topic unsettled her.  
Asta was so, so strange. She knew something was up. That something deep down shook him to his core, but...

Hell if she knew. Why was she thinking so hard about it anyways? She put a finger on her chin and looked out of one of the windows. " In a little bit. Yami's supposed to call us outside when we're about to leave. "  
" Oh, alright then. "

Asta ran into his room. WHAT WAS THAT?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!! THAT WAS TERRIBLE!!!  
He looked into the mirror that was placed in his room a few weeks ago. He peered at the darkness under his eyes. He'd actually been sleeping fine, yet, he admitted to himself it was just stress.  
He wondered what Yuno was doing right now. Was he still training, just like him? Or, could he be...  
Asta shuddered.  
Trying to get me back. Yeah, right, as if he'd willingly try and find me to get me back at the church... That could go both ways though!! I mean, I don't think he'd do it to be nice, yet he's one of the only people that I can fully trust with my life.  
Asta smelled something behind him slightly when he thought about the dream he had. He recognized it, immediately covering his nose with his arm, and sighed when it didn't help.  
It was all in his head, after all. Nobody in this world could see, smell, feel or hear it other than him.  
When he was by himself, he may have been the only person in the room, but he was never alone. This thing followed him, and he had no choice but to accept what it wanted.  
I mean, the Black Bulls are nice, but... They don't really know what's up with me. W-Well, that's fine! But, I just think... If they really knew... Then they could possibly, oh...

He stared himself in the eyes with a blank expression.

Help me.

Asta's eyes widened when he thought he felt familiar claws caress his shoulder.

Save me from... I-Incho... ate?

His hand reached around to feel the shoulder, an alarmed gasp emitting from him when he felt sharp, saliva-drenched teeth sink into it, the teeth somehow morphing through his clothes to get to the meat. Screaming out in fear, he backed up, falling onto the floor and groaning when he felt the tiny dip in his shoulder with his fingers, which he assumed was the chunk INCHOATE took out of it. He could still feel lingering pain from when his stomach was stabbed and healed instantly.  
" SOB SOB, " the shift mumbled, scattering to the doorway where it peered at Asta with its singular eye. Asta watched the way it moved its open throat that showed teeth, the tongue protruding out while licking the 'lips' of the throat which blood had spattered onto.

He sighed shakily. How was he supposed to tell the Black Bulls about this?

Blood smeared onto his finger - What a large amount of blood... At least it wasn't larger, he thought. Because I ate that piece of Noelle's food. Oh, I'm gonna starve. INCHOATE took the only thing out of me that I ate, as long as some of my skin...  
It was a kind of warm acceptance he felt in starving that unsettled him. After all, he hadn't thought about that kind of thing in a while. The scent of death that surrounded him gave him a weird high - the feeling of being on cloud nine, yet the immense happiness was replaced by emptiness, apathy and detachment. Sometimes the VOID ENTITY would bring him to the VOID as he slept. It was a cold, dark place where no actions are taken and thoughts aren't thought. It seemed as if time completely stopped within that realm to him, yet he could still think, his brain usually drowsy in a constant state of the feeling of just before falling under anaesthetic, and that bothered him.  
He felt so weak within the VOID.  
It had a smell, usually, a deep scent that smelt like the moonberries he'd named, and when the fetid scent of death twisted into the VOID smell, his mind blanked. His hands retreated from his shoulder. With a sinking feeling, he knew he needed to get out of his room soon, or the shift that shifted into a small beetle with an eye symbol scratched on it would surely get angry that it hadn't been noticed yet.  
His knees buckled as he tried to get up, the beetle already hollowing its pincers for teeth to protrude from them, the red beady eyes becoming dilated with every action Asta took.  
I have to get to Yami before this thing tries to touch me.  
He remembered the last time he touched it.  
My whole body was paralyzed and i couldn't move at all... I could only see static, and I felt myself hit the ground - well, more or less heard it. Yami Danchou walked in as I fell, but thank god I rubbed it off as me tripping when the numbness wore off.  
The beetle's new jaws seemed to grow bigger.  
" I notice you already, why are you getting angrier?! Please, ill intent- "  
The beetle suddenly vanished.  
" Huh? Who are you talking to, me? "  
Noelle stood in front of the door as she stared at Asta.  
" W-Wait, what happened to your shoulder?! "  
Asta looked at her in the eyes as he opened his mouth to speak.

" ...How much of that did you see, Noelle? "

" I came in just a second ago. You screamed and I thought something happened. Well, apparently something did, so what was it? "

" It's kind of a long story. "

" A long story? You were fine when we were talking earlier, and now you just have a bit of your shoulder-- Oh god, when I saw you land on the floor, your expression was... It was... "

He tilted his head in confusion at her.

" You looked like someone, something was... "

With a strong gulp, Asta shakily got up with the help of his bed.

" You're shaking like you're terrified! What was it?! " She asked again, walking over to help him stay up.  
" ...I'll tell you later. "  
Internally, he was grateful Noelle appeared in time, but he also wanted to drop it. To leave it alone and never think about it.  
" Okay, I guess. I also came in here to tell you we're leaving. I don't know if we have anything to heal that wound you have at the moment, either... "  
Her hand that was on his shoulder traveled to his forearm.  
" I don't know what's up with you, but I don't want you to be scared all the time. Anything that you can tell me would help if you want it to stop. "  
Asta's eyebrows furrowed, his eyes squint as he looked solemnly out the window. Tears threatened to form, yet he blinked them away. God, I'm such a crybaby!!  
" Thank you... For that. "  
Yet, nearly all of the things he wanted to say had to be kept locked away in his mind.

Help me.

They hurt me!

The shadows are following me...!

I didn't want to be touched that way!

Please, save me.

" Anytime, Asta. I'm here for you, just like everyone else is. "  
Her soft voice soothed the spikes in his gut.

" Of course. I hope you'd be happy to know it's the same for you. "

\-----

Finral nodded as Yami ordered him to make a portal.  
Noelle tilted her head. " You've been to where we're going? "  
" Well, not exactly. I can at least put you to a place near it, though. " He stated, his spatial magic glowing and spiraling as Yami and Asta walked in. Noelle went after them, Finral following afterwards, and Asta gasped and went star-eyed as the place they were transferred to had red pillars with golden marble decorations that stood in front of them, beige marble flooring with red carpet and golden outlining standing out to him in the middle of the floor as he thought: Should I really be standing in such a pretty place like this?

A woman approached them.  
" Hello you four! You must be the guys the Magic Emperor sent down here for a good talking. We'll be taking you in before the exam starts, Asta and Noelle, that is! "  
Yami stared at the woman who's smile shone brightly. " I dunno. I've never seen you before. Should I really let you take these runts? "  
" We won't do anything but care for them, giving them comfortable rooms and a good schedule so they won't be as stressed. "  
Yami's eyes narrowed. Her KI doesn't say she's lying, Yami thought.  
" Don't see why you would do that? "  
" Just trust me, Danchou! "  
With a suspicious glare, Yami nodded. " Whatever, I guess. If I find out you guys have funny business goin' on, though, I'll be here to kick every last one of your asses. "  
A bead of sweat formed on the woman's face. " O-Of course, Danchou. I'll take them from here. "  
Yami glanced at Finral. " Guess we've gotta go then. Seeya, kids. "  
The still open portal got wider as Yami and Finral walked through it.  
" H-Huh? He's just gonna... Leave us? " Asta asked the woman with spring green hair and orange eyes. The thought of being alone with people he didn't know scared him. The last time he was forced to comply to being alone with men he didn't know, they... He gulped. Th-They...  
" It'll be fine. Remember, you're here to have a great time, not to be punished for being bad. "  
The curve in her voice near the end unsettled him. D... Does she know something?  
" Yeah, of course... "  
She smiled at them.

" I go by Arantxa. When I lead you to your rooms, there will be a servant assisting you both. I'll be your guide for now!! "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh not such a great chapter but I spent a good while writing it over the past few weeks, mostly when I was motivated? I dunno, I thought more about the plot than I did the events in this chapter. The time spent with INCHOATE and ILL INTENT wasn't supposed to be written at all, but I got the idea halfway through it. I actually had this chap planned out in March, but I didn't get into it until just now PFF  
a lot of people always tell me "AHH I WANT NEXT CHAPTER AAH PLEASE UPDATE" and i dont end up getting as many reads as i thought i would from the many people leaving this book behind haha, but i'm grateful for all the people who still read it! thanks a million :>
> 
> next chapter won't be focused on the capital, but someone else. the chapter after that though will most likely be focused on asta and his servant along with noelle, though!
> 
> -astas


	11. sage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuno's memories of the past always seem to haunt him.  
He's going to get Asta back, no matter what it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, there's probably typos. I was originally gonna upload this on Sep22nd which was the anniversary for this fic, but my stuff got taken away and my parents won't tell me why, so I have to secretly update my stories lol. Next chapter will be pretty good I think, I just wanted to clear up some stuff on Yuno's perspective!

✿ Y U N O [vague recap; missed scenes]

Yuno stood in front of the taller, more built man as he handed them the magic stone. He wondered if the man was another person Asta was forced to go with. Sister Lily thought the same thing, placing a hand on her cheek and giving a smile as a bead of sweat formed on her face from the intimidation.  
" By the way... You're coming with me. "  
The look on Asta's face made Yuno cringe. He wasn't sure what this man wanted, but Asta looked mortified, so he assumed the worst. Yuno was only surprised when a shimmering white portal opened up next to the bigger man, a guy of average stature and brown, messy yet even hair walked out to greet them.  
Asta was immediately thrown into the portal, the two men following, then disappearing as it closed.  
Yuno glanced at Sister.  
" Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine with them. He seemed to be trustworthy, " She mentioned in a high, kind voice.  
' If she knew that I knew, I'm sure she'd say something completely different. '

It was night. Yuno walked outside, Nash following him when they all noticed Asta hadn't came inside yet.  
" Asta? " They both called, yet nothing showed any signs of the boy's return. Yuno got worried. Did... Did they do anything to him? Again, assuming the worst, they probably have.  
One, these two men showed up. The first was absolutely ripped and had zero respect, as per usual when it came to those kind of men. Two, they instantly shoved him into another location using a portal.  
I hope they don't hurt him...  
The pit in Yuno's stomach twisted.

The next day, Yuno decided to train, eat with the kids, Father and Lily at dinner, none of them bringing the situation up.  
Yuno's stomach began to feel nauseated.

The next day, Yuno trained again. He ate with the kids, Father and Lily as if it were a usual day once more.  
Even though it seemed completely normal, the pit in his stomach grew bigger with every passing moment.

Weeks pass without a sign of Asta around. Nobody's said anything as if it were an unspoken agreement.  
He couldn't take this. Yuno's head laid against the tree after punching it several times out of frustration.

' Hey, Yuno... '

' Yes? '

' What if I don't come back after one of those people take me? '

That was a few years back.

' Uhm... I don't know... I'd rather not think about it... '

9 year old Asta kicked his legs softly back and forth while sitting on the branch of the tree.

' Why not? '

' W-Well, I don't wanna lose you... You're like, my sunshine! '

The sage-eyed one smiled and giggled.

' You're so nice to me, Yuno! Did you know you're the same way to me? '

' Huh? '

' Out of all the people, you're the only one who accepted me for who I am... And only you treat me like I'm normal. I don't want to lose you, either. '

' Oh... I see! '

Hugging, they both ran off back to the church.

Yuno's face clenched in remembrance.

No.

His fists clenched harder, his knuckles turning a bright white.

No.

His breaths became uneven.

No.

Not even as he felt a soft dizziness in his head did he stop striking the tree, shots of wind flaring up and causing the tree to completely fall over from damage.

No.

He's not staying anywhere.

I'm the only one that can best him. He's my rival.

Finally being alone with Sister Lily made him uneasy. It'd only been an hour since he'd made up the plan to get Asta back, but now, seeing the woman who took part in what's been happening to Asta for years made his legs shake and his knees buckle slightly.  
" Why are you... So quiet, Yuno? "  
It's so obvious. He almost wanted to laugh, the expression on her face almost knowing, yet he stood still with a solemn look in his eyes.  
" Don't you know, Sister? Why hasn't he come back yet? "  
The clothes she began to fold had been placed into a basket.  
" I'm not quite sure. "  
His breathing quickened easily. He always got riled up over the boy.  
" Tell me, Sister, why did you let him go with those people, even when you knew what was happening to him every single time? "  
The glint of evil in her eye only seemed to grow. Her smile never faltered, only a single twitch in her hand was left of her agitation.  
" I don't know what you're talking about, Yuno... What's gotten into you? "  
Yuno's face turned sour at the nun's lies.  
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴.

" 𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢, 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬? 

" 𝘖-𝘖𝘩, 𝘶𝘩𝘮... "

" 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯? "

" 𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩... "

" 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦...? "

" 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘩𝘦... " 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵. " 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦. 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. "

" I don't like when you lie to me, Sister. Why would you let a young boy get beaten and raped like that with a smile on your face when he left with them? Do you get satisfaction in his hopelessness, his struggling? "

Lily looked at Yuno. Really, really looked at him.  
It was deafeningly silent for a bit until she could speak up.  
" How... Do you know? "

" 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘰... "

𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘰'𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱.

" 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵, 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢? "

𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢'𝘴 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦.

" 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨... "

𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘈𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

" 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦... 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦. "

" ...How else? Asta told me himself. "

She nearly walked away until he grabbed her wrist.

" Let go, Yuno. "

" You're a monster. You even beat him until he begged at your feet for mercy, either that or he begged you to kill him... "

" I said let go. Why would you worry about someone as worthless as him, anyways? "

" It makes me doubt you love me like you say you do. He's the reason I'm still alive. He saved me so many times without a price, and here you are, scolding him for being absolutely worthless. "

Sister Lily's grimoire opened as if she were to strike Yuno with a spell. 

" Recca's the daughter of one of the people that takes him, isn't she? She got left behind once her mother was completely useless to the man, so he got Asta instead. "  
His hand on her wrist tightened.  
" He wanted Asta, who's emotionally weak. He wanted someone who could never carry. One who would be called a baby for crying over wounds he earned for not complying with people like that man. "  
Sister Lily almost sent it off until Yuno let go.  
" The man takes the kids on trips, doesn't he? Tells them to talk shit about Asta, doesn't he? That's why they make fun of him for trying to be better. For breathing. "  
" Shut your mouth. I will kill Asta myself if you don't stop. "  
" For trying to be a human being. "  
Yuno walked off.  
" If you can kill Asta, he's still alive, then. I'm going to go find him.  
" Of course he's alive. He doesn't know when to give up and die. "  
Yuno's head lowered. " Oh, no. He's given up too many times to count. He's tried to kill himself a lot, don't you know? "  
" And I'm guessing they're all failed attempts? He's so bad at everything he can't even end his life the correct way. I pity him. "

Yuno wished there was another way around this. Maybe he could find clues within the magic knights?


End file.
